I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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