Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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