Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize