Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
not ubering you a puppy
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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