put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize