Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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