I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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