Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize