Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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