I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize