It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize