Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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