I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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