so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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