what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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