if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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