last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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