it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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