clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize