I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize