i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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