Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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