Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize