Swine flu is the new snow day.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize