you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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