should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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