the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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