I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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