if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize