Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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