I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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