found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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