a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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