fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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