I looked at my own cervix.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize