Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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