You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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