just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize