Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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