You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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