kristin has been a bad kristin
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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