fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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