Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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