she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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