His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize