saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Randomize