if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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