Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize