4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
its liver damage thursday
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize