How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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